I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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