There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
