i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize