Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
either way he was missing a nipple.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
