they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Houston, we have a blender
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
