Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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