then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
