It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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