Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
