Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
