8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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