my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
