And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
