she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
