What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
