i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
