Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
