he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
