Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
