Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
