btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize