We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
