i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
