Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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