Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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