No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
