She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
