I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
