My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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