dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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