Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize