Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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