So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
3pm strippers are depressing
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
