Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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