We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize