Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
