I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
