the condom got lost in my hair
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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