Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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