pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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