I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
