I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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