Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
pray to the hookup gods
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Randomize
