is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
