More tranny stories later!
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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