after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
