I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
