No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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