Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
