Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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