i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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