did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize