And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Sober January is a disaster.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
