I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
