So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize