A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
