What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
