If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
