nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I smell stomach acid.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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