My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
