Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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