shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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