in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
