i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize