I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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