3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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