They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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