His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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