I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
