She went from zero to smokin in five shots
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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