is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize